ROUND ONE: BLACK & WHITE vs. WHITEY THE CHEERLEADER

T's Story: This story was actually submitted in the form of a graphic novel, or, as we like to call it, a comic strip. Read it here.


A's Story: I was the only white cheerleader during my junior year of high school, and had somehow attracted the eye of the really hot football player with a terrible reputation for womanizing.

I think we dated for nine months. after taking my virginity and promising marriage, in those months he'd managed to:

• ban me from drinking because "it wasn't ladylike”

• sleep with a number of my friends

• get one of them pregnant (a catholic girl who had the pleasure of asking her mom accompany her to terminate her pregnancy)

• sleep with three other girls on the cheerleading squad

• father a child (with a girl from a different high school)

• get suspended for proposing sex with one of his teachers

• make a sex video with a 14-year-old girl that floated around school that even our principal saw. I got to see it after he left for college.

the night before he left for college he convinced me to stay out later than my curfew, resulting in my parents initiating a strict curfew of 11 p.m. my entire senior year.

i think the only things i got out of this were a pretty sweet mix tape, a lot of college feminism courses and the long term effects of an eating disorder.

ah, young love.


Jeff Johnson says: GRAPHIC: After reading this thing, I feel cheated on, too. While I appreciate the drawings, I have no idea what the hell happened. Dude loves a chick then she wants to borrow his key and breaks up with him? Is there something I missed? Visually it reminded me a lot of Karl Heitmueller's old retail-is-hell "Kalli & Rex" cartoons.

CHEERLEADER: I'm so glad she pointed out that she was white early on. That tells me everything, like who to side with in this drama. Fucking Eskimos. They're so goddamn pervy. Never fuck an Eskimo. But the transition from the horrid EX making a porno with a 14 year-old to "keeping me out past my curfew" leads me to believe that this gal got off easy. (no pun intended). I feel some of this story may be embellished -- like the whole thing perhaps, but it is the clear winner between these two.

WINNER: The chick with the pom-poms.

Jeff Johnson once had an ex who told her friend that he slobbered all over her while kissing. That hurt. Especially when she slobbered all over him first.